Since our weeks are typically full of work, working out, church assignments, and preparing to expand our little family we don't spend a lot of time just relaxing. Realizing that this would probably have been the last weekend that we could just relax for a very long time we wanted to have a little get away. Shawnie was kind enough to let us escape up to her beach house - we are so glad we did! We stopped at the outlet malls on the way to Westport and did a little shopping, which is always fun!
Saturday the weather was absolutely beautiful! We had invited a family from the ward to join us and so Oley and the boys spent the majority of Saturday crabbing.
Out crabbing on the docks
The weather was Beautiful!
Sharon taught us the art of making it less stinky when cooking crab, by cracking them apart and only cooking the legs.
The puppies loved it as usual! Dinky has something terribly wrong with his back paw so he wasn't as enthusiastic as usual but we still couldn't hold him back from his pure bliss!
Oley & the boys starting a fire
It was such a nice weekend we didn't want to come back to reality! We couldn't feel more blessed, we live in the ideal location - at the beginning of the month
we were on top of Mt. Rainier snow-shoeing and by the end of the month
we were at the beach soaking up the sun, both a couple hours from our house.
As I reflect back on what we were doing last year on Easter we were flying to Wisconsin to evaluate whether I wanted to take an amazing job offer. I am so glad we have the gospel in our lives, a husband who honors his priesthood and is able to provide blessings in time of need, and that even though the decision seemed stupid in the mind of many others we went with what the Spirit was telling us and declined the offer. The blessings that have come from that decision are more than we could ever comprehend.
Through the atonement of Jesus Christ I know that I have someone to go to when I don't know what path to take and when I feel as though I can't go any further, it is through the love of our Godhead I feel as though my life could not be any more complete. I hope that when the day comes they can look me in the eye and know that I did not take their sacrifice for granted. As I reflect on the Savior and the tremendous amount of love He had for me I realize the shortcomings I have when following the first and greatest commandment - As I have loved you, Love one Another. It is my goal this year to truly love those around me - it's easy to put up with others, but I want to truly have compassion and hope for the best for them.
The weather is finally starting to get nice and so we wanted to get the dogs out to a park, unfortunately Oley got off work late Friday and so we didn't make it. On Saturday morning I attended an amazing women's conference - it was exactly what I was needing and a little extra! The little extra was in the session on the 5 Love Languages, if you haven't done this as a family I would highly recommend taking the quiz for Family Home Evening. I will just stick it in here so you have no excuses not to check it out: Love Language Quiz. There is also a book, but check out the survey and do it for Family Home Evening - you'll learn something new about your spouse and children. Oley is probably the best husband ever, when I got home he had all the Saturday chores done and so we headed out to the dog park in Lakewood. The dogs loved being at a little dog park that there were actually little dogs at to play with.
What we didn't know was that this park was located by the old western state hospital that Oley has been wanting to go to - he heard it was haunted. It was actually really creepy! We walked up and there was a labyrinth that some women was walking around chanting, and there were a bunch of teenagers making a movie - you know one of those places where you can tell the Spirit does not want to be, this was the place. We didn't spend much time there becuase we both felt a little uneasy. But we can now say that we went and it was interesting.
Last week while out with Oley's Aunt she told us that Rainer National Park does a guided snow shoe hike and asked if we wanted to go with her. Since we still have yet to make it up to the mountain we were super excited to go. Throughout the week we had invited others to join us but one by one they all chickened out, except my cousin Trae - yay!
Saturday morning I got up and went for a quick run and as soon as Trae arrived we were on our way. Mapquest had estimated it should take around 2 hours from our place to get to Paradise. . . in all reality it took an hour, so we were able to browse the museum a bit before the hike started (no Oley didn't speed, it's only 60 miles away max.). Since moving from Idaho we haven't really had any real snow, so it was a nice reminder of why we moved away from the snow and cold while playing in the 13 foot snow banks. We had a blast, and when I say "we" I really mean we this time - Oley is still talking about it today!
We had the choice between "modern" or old fashioned snow shoes, we all went with the modern ones!
That behind me was how much snow they had. . 13 ft in fact.
We learned a lot about Mt. Rainier and the wildlife/history of the park.
This was a blast! If you have never been snow shoeing before I highly recommend you add it to your bucket list!
Alright Laur just start laughing now because I already know you will be laughing as soon as I type this. Back in October when my family was here visiting they all got a good chuckle when Oley let them in on a little secret - there was no way I was ever buying Lily a new collar, becuase the one she had was her baby collar and I never wanted her to grow up! Okay, so yes that was a factual statement, but oh how much fun they had with this little fact. Luckily for us our little squirt just keeps getting fatter and not bigger so her collar continues to fit. I will admit it was getting a little old and Oley was trying to think of ways he could "lose" it so we had to buy her a new one. Well lucky for him Lily took care of all his worries when she decided it would be a great idea to chew through this little sentiment of mine.
She chewed it just right that the buckle came off! A little bit of me died inside upon finding this. But I suppose we all have to grow up at some point. When I was telling my mom her comment back was, "oh good, next she'll be losing her baby fat!" So sad, but kind of funny! We love our little baby dog, but I guess it's time for her to move on to bigger things..So she got a new collar last night! Yay!
Yesterday I also spent a great deal of my time reminiscing on the carefree days of soccer. My Saturday team played a college team yesterday and as I observed how carefree and in love with the game they were I couldn't help but reflect back on my carefree college days.
This was the game I got my tooth knocked out by Erica!
Oh to be young again and not have to worry about how much time off work I will have to take if I go into that tackle wrong, or how much damage my body will endure if I go up for that header and get smashed between two players. Oh yes, those were the days!
Oley has been asking to buy a juicer for well over a year now. Since I am a thrifty wife and don't let him waste money on things I know will never be used I lovingly continue to let him know he will not be purchasing a juicer. Since I failed miserably at buying Christmas gifts this year, and he has been asking for well over a year I finally caved and let him bring home his baby!
Since then our grocery shopping has consisted of nothing but fruits and vegetables.
Which I suppose there is nothing wrong with this picture since I am trying to get down to wedding day weight, but honestly it makes for a rough week when all I want is something that isn't healthy! Seriously though this stuff looks nasty. Whenever Oley juices something and drinks it I gag a little inside. Whoever thought that this was a good idea?
Whenever I am asked explain to what my perfect day would be, I always try to think hmm...what would be my perfect day? Usually I am at a loss! But I can now explain the perfect day! I am sure that my idea will change in 3 months, but for now this definitely was the perfect day!
Oley took the scouts camping on Friday night so I was up into the wee hours of morning editing pictures of my cute little nephew!
Which yes, I am still a baby and can't sleep when Oley is away, so this was actually the start of a great day! I woke up super early and went for a 5k run, and smashed my time! Ran it in 24:40, which makes me feel like I may actually be able to finish this half in under 2 hours come April! So that in and of itself could have made for a great day! But I got home took a quick shower and loaded my bike onto the back of the car to meet up with some guys from the ward for a quick 15 mile bike ride.
You read that correctly "I" loaded the bike on the car, first for everything right! Since the ride took a little longer than I anticipated I went straight to my soccer game from the trail. We played down a player and were still able to pull off a 2-1 win. After a quick shower we got ready and headed out for ward temple night.
Afterwards we stopped off in Renton to get some much needed nourishment. We planned to eat at Cheesecake Factory, but after hearing the wait we opted just to get some cheesecake to go and headed over to the Spaghetti Factory for dinner. While we had a short wait there I was able to get some shopping done. From dinner we came home and enjoyed our cheesecake and the company of one another.
I am so glad that I married my best friend and that he is supportive of me and let's me remain active in those areas in which he has no interest (soccer)! I now can answer the question what is your perfect day? Running, Biking, Soccer, the Temple, Shopping, Good Food, and a lot of time spent with the love of my life!
To start off we are absolutely in love with our life right now and could not ask for anything better! Although, you have to taste the bitter to know of the sweet, and I will admit we did a horrid job of writing those bitter emotions down...anywhere. I was appalled at myself when I went to my journal two days ago and flipped to August 29 and the days shortly there after and there was no journal entry, quite frankly no mention until September that it didn't work, and that was it - what was I thinking?!? As I read through the one measly blog post we made it really didn't do justice for the situation. Did we think that if we kept these things between the two of us that was good enough or was it just to hard to put emotions into words - yes, candidly a little of both, mainly we didn't want others feeling bad for us.
What I have since realized, and have received emails regarding other posts on our blog, is that it is wonderful to go onto another person's blog and see that they have suffered in a way very similar to yours and see how they were able to cope and get through it. The Lord uses his followers to comfort those who are in need of comfort and we have done a horrible job of portraying the low points of our journey - which for me is hard to do becuase I continually strive to turn a negative into a positive! So here's to hoping we can help someone with this very depressing post.(believe me I am torn between even pushing the publish button or pressing delete!)
Because I am the sibling that is always looked to for being the strong one in hard situations, due to my lack of sad emotions - I don't even know where to start! Okay, so yes I do! All of this reflection nonsense started on Monday night as I prepared for dreaded "Aunt Flow" to grace me with her monthly visit. As usual I didn't sleep all night due to the pain and cramps, Tuesday was a normal Aunt Flow day and then Wednesday hit and I thought I may actually be bleeding to death! It was bad enough, even Oley was freaked out - but the drama ended within a couple hours and away I went to play an outstanding basketball game, (I had 20 points btw) by the time I got home I was absolutely drained! I laid in bed and there was that lovely reminder that I was female again. Usually when this happens I let Oley know that I am calling the doctor the very next day to let him know I need him to take all my lady parts out, since obviously we can't get them to work anyway - may as well just get rid of them right ;)!
While at work on Friday we got an update from one of the blogs we are subscribed to, while perusing her blog I somehow ended up on her failed adoption experience a few years back. As I read through it my heart ached for her because I knew exactly what she felt and realized it will be a year next week since we started on our failed adoption. I then thought we all have extremely difficult times, there are many in our life right now that are experiencing extreme heart ache and how nice it is to actually read how others have coped with theirs. This obviously brought on a flood of emotions! As I was driving home I was trying my darnedest to keep it all together. We had plans to meet Oley's Aunt for dinner and I didn't want to go looking like I spent the past 2 hours crying my eyes out!
Dinner went great, but on the car ride home I made Oley drive so I could "talk" at him. As soon as we got in the car it was as if the flood gates opened, and there was no holding back - believe me I tried! His actual comment was "Whoa! Where did this emotional outburst come from?" So as I took him through my past week it lead to how we coped with our experience. The day we found out the birthmom - who we still worry about and care for - was going to parent the baby girl we had been dreaming about for the past 7 months, we were absolutely heartbroken. It was a feeling of numbness, we had no idea what to think, do, feel, or say! I remember getting home from work and trying to find anything to do to take my mind off of things - so I decided I would fold laundry (most dreaded chore ever btw and I will admit poor choice if you are trying to get your mind off something), but what a great choice because I was able to just think! I heard Oley's truck pull up and thought to myself okay I have got to pull myself together. After about 5 minutes I realized he wasn't coming in the house, so texted him and asked what he was doing, he let me know he was just being sad, so I told him to come in the house and we could be sad together. We spent the next hour or so just laying in the office crying, we were both speechless (that's right I was speechless, crazy huh). It felt as though someone had sat on my chest I couldn't breathe, or maybe that was because I couldn't get any air in through the sobs either way I had never felt so broken. This went on for a few days, until we made the long drive to Idaho Falls to be at my little sister's baby blessing - which I knew was going to be a beast facing our families for an occasion such as this.
Oley still had not let his family know, so lucky for me I got to break the news to them (we laugh about it now). After sacrificing the past 48 hours of sleep to be at the baby blessing, we were standing in front of Reed's Dairy saying our good byes to his parents, his mom pulled out a whole stack of quilts she had made for the baby, I looked at Oley and knew right away he still hadn't told them! I am not the type that thinks often before I speak anyway, so not having 48 hours of sleep didn't help in this situation. As nicely and plainly as I could put it, I graciously accepted the blankets and let them know it wasn't going to work. The next 10 minutes were filled with Oley walking away to be with the men while I tried answering the questions his mom and sister-in-law had on all the details, if we were okay, etc. etc. Remember no sleep in 48 hours, standing in the Reed's Dairy parking lot, and me not being an emotional person (that had just experienced something in which made me an extremely emotional person) made for the most excruciating 10 minutes of my life - no we weren't okay and no we didn't want to talk about it - especially in the current circumstance with the aroma of cow pies brewing in the air, teenage boys trying to impress their dates, and the slow drizzle of the rain, what better time and place to have a conversation such as this right!
Friday night as Oley and I were recounting this experience and we were laughing so hard we couldn't even talk about it, I asked so why did I have to tell your family, and he jokingly replied, "I am not good with hard things, and you are pretty heartless so you are!" So then I asked what was I supposed to say, how do you even describe that pain? I think he put it most plainly when he said, "You can't, it's like explaining a period to a male - they don't comprehend it becuase they have no idea where to even start!" I love this man I married, I am so grateful we can now look back on one of the most difficult times of our life and laugh about how much learning and growth we experienced.
So enough of all this sad stuff - how did we really heal? Going to Oden's baby blessing was one of the best choices we made, yes I knew it was going to be like twisting the knife that was already in my heart to see my little sister and her newborn baby, but it was something we both felt we needed to do. I am so glad we did!
While holding little Oden I had the warmest feeling come over me, I knew that the Lord had something great in store for us! With this past adoption there was so much worrying, so much stress, so much doubting there really was no peace at all. We felt an extreme amount of peace when we prayed whether the time was right for us to start on the adoption journey and we knew that it was, but it felt as though we were always worried and stressed about this baby and her mom (we should have been more in tune with this but we thought that is how adoptive couples had to feel all the time, worried) which is totally and completely wrong! Now knowing what it's like to be connected with a wonderful birth mom we can honestly say the peace and comfort we feel as we work through our current situation we know Heavenly Father has a hand in this!
Through our temple attendance, fasting, and scripture study we began to heal, there was one scripture that continued to stick out to me, Alma 32:43 "ye shall reap the rewards of your faith,diligence, patience, and long suffering." I read a lot in Alma 34 and in the margin have written "Just need patience, the Lord knows His plan for you". While at a ward sealing trip in the temple shortly after this we could feel the Lord's love for us and knew He was very aware of our circumstances. Yes, we did, and still do have a righteous desire and with faith, diligence and a lot of long suffering the Lord will bless us and continue to watch over us. This truly was a beautiful heartbreak, and I can't believe I am actually saying this but I am so grateful we were given this opportunity! It has made us stronger as a couple, brought us closer to the Lord, and given us a deeper appreciation for the most amazing woman and friend we have ever met (we can't wait for May and the rest of our lives)! That's right there is a Hilary Weeks song, and I did make Oley listen to it as we drove the last 5 minutes to get to our house Friday night!
