His Image

This past month the youth have been learning about the God Head, since I was responsible for the presidency message this month I had to prepare for the first Sunday.  By doing this I feel as though I was able to fully delve into this topic and examine my relationship with the my Heavenly Father and Savior.  Recently during my scripture study in the mornings I have had a few young women on my mind and how I can best help them, I have been blessed multiple times in doing this.   Although there was one day in particular while I was driving home from work and this song came on my Pandora.

Okay so this was the only version I could find of this song. . ignore the slideshow, but listen to the words!
As I was listening to the words I thought do these young women really know that I have the spirit of Christ in my life?  Am I really living in a way that they can see his image in my countenance?  What do I need to help them feel that light of Christ in their lives?  It was exactly what I was looking for and it has been in my head ever since!  I love the gospel and how much comfort and peace it brings into my life, I hope that I can be able to help translate into my girls' lives. 

A Surprise Visit

With our packed schedules Oley and I have spent very little time at the house the past two weeks, so when my sister called on Wednesday to let me know that they would be here sometime Friday for a weekend visit I was surprised, yet excited!  Unfortunately, our weekends aren't any less busy than the weekdays recently.  Friday night Oley had a camp out with the boy scouts planned, so I took the family out to dinner and we visited back at home.  I bought Ryker and I matching chucks, his are still a little big! 

Saturday morning I had a soccer game in Tacoma, but Oley was able to have camp all cleaned up and the boys home in time to cook the family some brunch before we headed to Point Defiance to try and get some pictures of Ryker.Who are we kidding looking at pictures is way better than reading, so I hope you are prepared for picture overload!

Lucky for Oley and I we got to chaperone a youth dance Saturday night, so while the rest of the family went to Grandma and Grandpa's to visit we went and got our groove on with the youth!  Interesting how different our generations are!!
Sunday morning we drove up to listen to Damon speak before serving in the Alpine Germany mission.  It was great to get to spend some time with the family, and Dinky was so excited to have Ryker back to run around with. 

I absolutely love my Grandma

Ryker and Dinky loved playing together

Ryker and I made a log cabin out of sticks

Me and my Goofball

We definitely aren't ready for what the world has in store for us tomorrow, but we loved getting to spend time with the family this past weekend!  We probably won't get to see them again for awhile, or at least until we decide it's time to take a trip to Idaho. . . who knows!  It was great to get to hear Damon speak before he leaves and we are super excited for all the adventures he will get to have in Germany! 

The Visit

We have been so busy recently we barely have time to even sit on the couch, hence the reason I am barely getting around to this blog post!  As most of you are aware we are in the adoption process and are in talks with a great birth-mom, to reassure her we weren't crazies and to give us the assurance we can make an open adoption work with her she came to visit!  The week leading up to her visit I was continually asked if we were nervous to meet her.  Surprisingly I was not nervous at all, so then I started to think maybe there was something wrong with us since we weren't nervous.  But whenever we talk to her or pray for her we always feel a connection with her, which is hard to put words to.  So no we weren't nervous!
The day she was supposed to fly in there was a horrible snow storm in Idaho and so her shuttle was extremely delayed in getting to the Boise airport.  Her plane was to leave at 7:30, at 7:00 when I texted her she still had not arrived in Boise.  I can honestly say this was the first time I started to stress/be nervous for this trip.  I was worried she would miss her plane and be stuck in Boise for the night.  Thankfully, she made it just in time!
Whenever meeting anyone new you always worry it may be a little awkward at first, but when we got to the airport to pick her up everything just seemed to click.  There were no awkward periods at all, it was as if we were all just old friends and had known each other for a long time!  For me it was amazing how quickly I was able to connect with her, I thought I loved and appreciated her before but after spending the weekend with her my respect/appreciation has grown enormously.  I am super excited for this little baby and I hope she is just like her mom, because we love her!
Friday we went to Pike Place.  It was the typical Pike Place.  Oley loves to go and could spend days there! 

Overlooking the Water

Just a classic Pike Place Pig

The Disgusting Gum Wall

Lauralynn loves these things so we always have to get one in remembrance of her!

One day I am going to ride that ferris wheel, probably not though looks to freaky!

We see something new every time we go down there.  

After we sufficiently covered all of Pike Place she showed us her favorite Red Robin, and we are so glad she did!  So Awesome!  Right on the Pier!

Definitely going to eat here again!

We tried to beat traffic as best we could on a Friday afternoon.  Oley made some horrible tasting ice cream that night, but we were able to just chillax at home and talk, which was good!
Saturday Oley wanted to go to Buttered Biscuit for Breakfast.  Unfortunately it's losing it's awesomeness in my eyes, but Oley still loves it.  We hadn't really planned anything for Saturday so drove up to Point Defiance and then all decided we just wanted to lounge around at the house so headed back home.  It was a beautiful day there though.

I am glad that we decided to play it low-key.  I learned a few new card games, one in which I must practice so I don't lose again, and Oley was able to make up for the horrible ice cream the night before!  We were sad to see her go on Sunday morning, but I am super excited for future plans we have with her! 
When we first started the adoption process and our case-worker told us that once selected she would put our profile on hold so no other mom's could contact us I was a little terrified (especially with our previous experience), but when our case-worker told us this past week she was putting our profile on hold it was a huge relief and we are so very thankful for our birth-mom and her family, we are excited for relationships we will get to have with them!

Bliss

I am so glad I have a husband who makes sure I stick to what I say I am going to do.  So much so that I have no idea what I am even going to blog about today, but becuase I told him I was going to be better at this he insisted I post.  This week has flown by!  I have been diligent in working out every morning before work, which has been great! 

I love Washington and the running trails here! This was from my run on Saturday morning. 

All this working out will hopefully pay off as I prepare to play on two different soccer teams and a church basketball team.  It's going to be a blast! 
Oley has been busy getting his application done for University of Washington, we kind of decided Texas wasn't going to be the best choice for us right now, so are hoping everything works with UW.  We can't wait for him to be through with his schooling.

Where I found him Saturday morning diligently working on his application.

It was my month to deliver the Presidency message to the Young Women. While preparing this lesson I realized how blissful our life really is.  I have had the opportunity to get to know the girls I am over on a personal level, hearing and seeing their struggles I have come to appreciate my upbringing and how centered everything was on the gospel.  My parents did a great job! I hope that as we transition into this next phase we will be able to do the same.  
We feel fortunate we listened to promptings and selected this job over others and chose to live in this neighborhood, the blessings that it has brought have been countless. 

The view of Mt. Rainier from the bottom of the hill to our neighborhood.

I am so glad I married my best friend, as we strive to keep our home and marriage centered in the gospel, our life truly is blissful!!

Life's Greatest Blessing

Isn't it spectacular how when we finally let go and just let the Lord guide our paths we are blessed beyond measure?  I always knew that adoption would somehow be apart of my life. Four and a half years ago when we found out it would be difficult to conceive I had this reassuring thought once again.  It was a year ago I had a very candid conversation with my grandparents about adoption and how I thought we were ready.  It was 10 months ago my sister called and told us about a prospective birth mom that was confident she wanted us to raise her baby.  We spent the next 7 months dreaming about being the parents to a little baby girl, and building a relationship with a woman we still think highly of.  The terrible news that it wasn't going to work out broke our hearts, we spent the next month going through the actions and looking for answers.  We attended the temple and once again had to let the Lord heal the wound, we decided if this was going to happen it was going to happen on the Lord's time and we turned it over to him.
A few short months later (I am positive this was all the Lord's work) we were contacted by the person who has proven to be one of the greatest blessings in our life.  We are so excited for what the future has in store for us!  There is definitely something tangibly different with her.   It's been so easy for us to respect and truly empathize for her in this process.  She flies here next weekend and we are so excited to spend the weekend with her, which will be the first of many times we hope to get together!
That being said, we are so excited to continue our dreaming of what it will be like to be the parents of a healthy baby girl!  Yes, yes, we could keep it in and live risk-averse to the opportunity, or we could live in the moment and so that is what we have chosen to do.  We know there is always the risk of it not working, but we feel so blessed to have met her that this doesn't seem to cross our minds.  We are excited for the next 20 weeks as we prepare to expand not only with the addition of a baby girl, but the addition of a whole new family that possesses so much love they are willing to let us become apart of them and who they are! Birth-moms are the most amazing women and we have been fortunate enough to have been contacted by this one.  Her desire to do what she feels is right and what the prophets have instructed brings us peace.  We know she will be truly blessed for this decision and we hope we can be a blessing for her. 

How to deal with one of "Them"

So last night as Oley slept I perused the internet.  I found myself reading blogs of birthmothers and how they have made it through their placement journey.  After reading through 3 or 4 of these and connecting at a level that I don't think others outside of adoption understand, I realized how much it will help as we communicate with our birth mom, especially after the placement and how to best help her grieve/celebrate her decision.  As I was running this morning the thought came to me that we have never really let anyone and I mean ANYONE know what it truly is like to be the infertile couple, and not only the infertile couple but the infertile couple that is active in the church where every conversation includes the infamous question "how many children do you have?"  You know that if you don't answer in such a way you are going to get the awkward sympathy and silence from that person, because for some reason they just don't understand it's okay, you weren't going to open up to them the most personal trial you are going through and you most definitely don't want their sympathy (every infertile woman knows what I am talking about).  So this post isn't for me, it isn't for sympathy, it's for all those who have no idea how to communicate/interact with an infertile couple.  We are only able to share this becuase we have turned our weaknesses over to the Lord and through his atonement have been healed, yeah there are still the occasional situations that bring out hard times, but after 4.5 years of pain and hurt we know this is the hand we were dealt, it has strengthened our marriage in a way never imagined, and started us on a journey that will provide a lifetime of blessings. 
After finding out that it could potentially be extremely difficult to get pregnant because my tubes become blocked due to the endometriosis, Oley insisted that we grow something together.  You guessed it that's when Dinky became the love we would grow together.  Lesson #1 - Encourage this, it's good for a couple to have something to grow together.  I will have to say I was not excited in the least bit to get a dog, but it proved to be a great decision.
Once my tubes were cleared and still nothing Oley got the joy of partaking in the surgery fun.  Lesson #2 - Don't joke with others, until you are positive they are clearly over it.  After this surgery and still nothing we knew it wasn't going to happen, and that's when the grieving/healing needed to start.  Since I was set on a graduate education we played it off as though I didn't want children until I was done with school, deep down we would have given anything to have a little one.  So here are a few of the tips that I can think of at the moment for those who interact with a couple who haven't received the blessing of children quite yet, I am sure there are many more:
1) Never tell a woman that as her husband rolls around on the floor with the kids and makes them squeal that your husband is going to be the greatest dad and encourage them they should start having children - yes, she probably is well aware her husband is going to be a great dad, that was probably one of the traits she looked for before they married.
2) Just because the couple doesn't have kids doesn't mean they don't want to be invited to hang out with those that do.  Yes, they may decline, but probably not, it's good to have a social life (when you are members in a church where every couple your age has children and live in a neighborhood, yes that does mean they are going to have to hang out with those with children)
3) Don't assume that having them babysit your children is a burden.  This is actually one of the only times they will get to have children in their home, so it's more of a therapy.  Think of it as a free babysitting service, and a great therapy for them!
4)  Along those lines, just because they don't have children doesn't mean they don't know how to care for one. 
5)  Don't assume because they have been "financially blessed" they are just prolonging children because they like to buy toys and travel with no-strings attached.  Infertile couples wonder what it's actually like to have to live paycheck-to-paycheck sacrificing school books for diapers.
6) Never ask when they plan to start a family.
7) Just becuase they can't become pregnant doesn't mean that they don't like to hear that others are or attend baby showers, yes it may be hard, but it's better to hear from the source than through the grapevine.
8) When celebrating mother's day or father's day don't wish them a happy mother's day, it's as if pouring salt into the wounds. 
9)  Don't offer your advice on how great or horrible you feel fertility treatments may be and whether they are a righteous thing to do. 
10) Don't feel like you need to provide them sympathy, they don't desire sympathy (well we didn't) we just wanted to be treated normally.
11) Maintain you friendship with them even after you have children and they don't.  No they don't feel like it's a burden to have your children over too, they probably actually enjoy it.
12)  Don't feel like because they don't have a baby, doesn't mean they don't want to hold yours for you when you need a free hand.
13) Don't ever ask "had you known before would you have married your spouse," of course they would, they love them and they are still together.
14) Never ask if they are "doing it" right...seriously I think there is only one way to do it! 
15) Support them in their decisions.  They know what is best for their family and if they have come to a decision they have had time to cope and are ready for the next steps.
16) Lastly and most importantly, I hear this time and time again from couples I know who struggle with this, just trust them with your children. 

It takes a long time to overcome something you had dreamed about your entire life, so because it takes some couples a few months and others years to decide what their next step is going to be, let it be they are well aware they are only getting older.  But it takes time!

Out with the Old, In with the New

I was actually kind of dreading getting on to update but have since realized we aren't as far behind as I thought.  This was the second year that we were unable to travel home to be with the family for the holidays (can't wait for Oley to start his career).  It's times of celebration that make you realize it is nice to live close to family, but not to say we didn't have a great holiday.  The weekend before we got some goodies ready and delivered them to the neighbors.

Oley pitched in and helped me get the ribbons tied onto the pictures and quotes glued to the back  for the young women's Christmas gift from the presidency.  I love him!

It was decided prior that we would have Oley's aunt and friends over for Christmas eve dinner, then we would spend Christmas morning at our place, and Christmas dinner at my aunt's house. Dinner turned out great on Christmas Eve.  I am so glad that my mom was so persistent on her holiday traditions, now having my own family it's made me realize the importance and really helps bring the spirit of the holiday.  Christmas morning Oley made us some delicious crepes, we opened gifts and then cleaned up and headed to my grandparents house.  The prime rib we ate for dinner with them was delicious but nothing beats the company of those you love.

Lily loved her new toys and bed.

We asked Oley's mom to make Grandma a blanket for their 60th anniversary/Christmas present.  It turned out great!  We are so blessed to have Shelbie and her amazing quilting talents.
This past weekend I was able to get at least one craft done before I head back to work.  And I love how it turned out.  So many new crafts to do now!  So excited for them.

New Years Eve we had been invited over to a friend's house, but Oley got home from work late and wasn't feeling well so we opted to just keep it low-key at home.  While he slept I hung out with the puppies and rung in the new year!  This year has been one of the greatest!  Graduated with my masters, moved across the state, Oley and I both have great jobs, started the best journey of our married life - Adoption, had our hearts broken, received church calling we absolutely love, and have met one of the greatest people we have ever known one in which we hope will remain apart of our lives forever!