When we started on this adoption journey we were very cautious, we didn't want to let anyone but the closest of family know that we were considering adoption. As the time wore on and we felt that the birth mother was positive about her decision to place her child with us we felt it was okay for us to let more of our extended family know. When we found out that it was going to be a baby girl I was super excited, and even though Oley didn't want to admit it so was he. We bought some cute little clothes and we began to dream about what it was going to be like to be parents to a little girl.
As the months went on and we began the home study and attended the adoption education we learned the tremendous amount of strength and courage it takes for these birth mothers to place their new precious infant into someone else's life and trust them to give them a life that they couldn't have given them. Oley was extremely excited about adoption and wanted all of Facebook to know. I was a little tentative and worried maybe things wouldn't work so we decided we would just share it with those who followed our blog.
Once we moved into our new home on the other side of Washington we left a room for the baby, filled a closet full of clothes and began to accessorize for her. Although we had a small doubt that it was going to come through, becuase now the birth father wanted the baby and was going to block the adoption. We were angry at first that he would want to do such a thing, but learned to live with the doubt. We read up on all of the Idaho and Washington adoption laws and what he was going to have to do to block the adoption, but as the time grew nearer for the baby to arrive we started to feel more and more like it wasn't going to work.
This past week we got the devastating news that the birth mother has decided she is going to parent the baby girl. We were heart broken. We let all of our families and friends know that it wasn't going to work, but mainly just wanted our own space. As Oley and I talked more about this Oley's exact words were "adoption is emotionally draining" and that it is. There are the highs and the lows, and now that we have experienced both we are anxious to see what the future has in store for us!
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