"Doubt Not But Be Believing"

Friday, May 31, 2013

ICPC Waiting ~ Boise

Our first stop was Pocatello to see Oley's uncle. Adelé was a trooper until we hit about Burley, which I don't blame her.  When we took her out of her seat and took her clothes off to change her diaper the poor baby's umbilical cord had been rubbing on the car seat straps and was now falling off.  Poor little thing. 


Once we made her as comfortable as we could, we finally made it to Boise just in time for Doug and Oley to make it to Rockies to do their "challenge".  


Neither of them were able to finish, but they both had a good time so that's all that matters!  We continued to anxiously await our phone call.  Come to find out the woman who usually takes care of these had retired and our caseworker was unsure who had replaced her and Idaho also had a new guy so it took a little longer than usual.  But by Thursday we finally got the call and were cleared to make our trek home.  We loved hanging out with Lauralynn, Doug, Ryker and Liz.  While we were there we had a really good time playing games with Ryker, Ryker loving on the baby, visiting the newly renovated temple, and going to Ryker's swim lessons.  All and all a good couple days!












   
 Adelé did really well on the drive home. We were able to go about 3 hours between feedings and so made it in a little over 9 hours which was great timing with a little one on board.  As we were pulling up to the house there was a rainbow over head.  
We truly are blessed and are so grateful for all the family and friends that helped us out the past week.  It was such a blessing that Allison just happened to live in the same town as our families so to share in this special time with them was tremendous, but oh how great it was just to be home!  Oley got Adelé's bed ready, read her a bed time story, and we were all sound asleep within minutes. 
Infertility has proven to be one of the most difficult trials that we have endured, but as we all know as we endure our trials well we will be blessed beyond measure and we have definitely been blessed beyond measure!


ICPC Waiting ~ Idaho Falls

We prepared ourselves for a long ICPC wait when we found out Allison wouldn't be discharged until Thursday and it was Memorial Day weekend - which translated to us we would be stuck in Idaho till Tuesday.  So we put on our happy camper pants and made the most of the additional vacation.  Yes, we couldn't wait just to be home as a little family, but there was nothing we could do and quite frankly we were on Cloud 9 anyway with all the joy Adelé brought with her, so it was okay! 
We were able to spend the days at my mom's visiting siblings and were also able to see Allison a few more times.  So it all turned out well!


I had texted back and forth with Allison and Kim most of the day Thursday and it was decided Allison wanted to see us again before we left.  When she said Friday would be good it threw me off a bit, but we were excited to see her so happily agreed.  We hadn't seen any of them since Wednesday night at the hospital so I wasn't sure what I needed to prepare myself for.  Obviously I was extremely grateful, but what was I supposed to say, was it going to be super awkward the whole time, was it going to be highly emotional, or would it all just turn out naturally?  Thankfully Allison and her parents are incredible and everything went well.  No awkwardness about it! 


Since our picnic in the park went so well we decided to go see Allison for a little bit on Saturday before we had a family dinner.  On Sunday it was suggested that Greg (Allison's dad) give Adelé a blessing before we left, it is a thing that some birth families do and so we agreed to it.  I am glad we did, what a special experience that was!



It was so good to spend additional time with Allison and her family.  What a blessing they have been to us.  We are so grateful that my parents were so willing to let us crash at their house for an unexpected amount of time, and my mom who so lovingly cooked us meals and helped with the baby's laundry. We truly have the most amazing family and are so grateful that they are all so accommodating of us.  We wanted to break up the drive a little bit for Adelé so decided we would drive to Boise and stay with Lauralynn and Doug until we got word that ICPC cleared.  
It was an unexplainable feeling as we drove out of Idaho Falls with a baby in our back seat.  We had made Allison a CD with some songs on it and one of those songs happened to come on as we were on the freeway,  how intimidating it is to know how much trust Allison has put into us raising our little Adelé.  I am so glad to know that we have the support of our families and knowing that this wasn't the last time we would see or talk to Allison makes it all that much more exciting of a journey!  I can't believe I am actually saying this but we are actually excited for August when we get to go back to Idaho Falls.

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Placement

To start off, I just have to mention what an amazing experience an open adoption has proven to be.  We have the most amazing birth mom who had allowed us to be extremely involved in her pregnancy and the actual delivery of little Adelé, we couldn't have asked for a more perfect situation!  When first pursuing adoption we knew we wanted to keep it open but having the level of openness that we have with Allison and her family has been the greatest blessing in this journey. 
On Tuesday morning I met Allison and Kim at the hospital to start out on the next step of this journey.  What I saw Allison go through gave me a whole new appreciation not only for mothers but especially for birth mothers.  She is a welcome addition to our family, we have not only been blessed with the addition of Adelé, but of Allison and her family as well. The following days after Adelé was born we were in and out of the hospital.  Our caseworker had told us this was a time for Allison to have with Adelé and so we wanted to respect that and allow her to have all the time that she needed.  But as always Allison was great and let us spend some time there with her as well. 
The time we got to spend at the hospital we couldn't get enough of our newest addition. 

Thursday was the day placement occurred.  That morning we anxiously awaited any word from the hospital as to when placement would happen.  Kim texted and let us know that we needed to do some education so we started to pack everything up and head over.  To finish up our placement gift I wanted to get some pictures printed to go in the photo album we had for Allison and so we needed to stop at Wal Mart and quickly print some of the pictures.  You know how Wal Mart goes, when you are in a hurry everything seems to take FOREVER!  Once we got the pictures in the album her gift was complete. 

When we got a less than a quarter mile away from the hospital Dale called to let us know that Allison would prefer not to see us and so we needed to wait until they were gone from the hospital.  As soon as we got this phone call my heart broke for her, I couldn't even imagine the heartache that she must be feeling and didn't blame her in the least bit for choosing for it to happen this way.  We were given the clear to come in.  We followed Dale to the cafeteria to sign all of the papers.  It was all still kind of surreal that this was happening.  As we got about halfway through I received a text from Allison and I could no longer hold it together.  I hate to get emotional in public but knowing how hard this decision was on her and how blessed I felt there was no holding back. 
Once the papers were signed we went into the nursery to see our little Adelé, oh how perfect she was!  It seemed as though the education we needed to do and the papers we needed to sign for the hospital were going to take an eternity, all I wanted to do was stare at this perfect individual that had been brought into our family.  Eventually we got to leave!


We had promised Oley's mom that we would stop by her office on the way home and so we headed over there.  As we were there we got a phone call from the hospital that they forgot to take the tag off Adelé's umbilical cord and so had set off the alarms at the hospital when we left.  It was a tease that she really was ours, haha!  After they got the tag off it was back to my mom's house to really get to spend some time with our little princess and to meet the family. 




After a long day of meeting family and having a photo shoot she was ready for bed and so were we.  Our first night together was spectacular, we could not have asked for a more perfect baby!


Dinky Loves his new Sister

Throughout the first day on our own I couldn't help but continually think of Allison and how grateful I am for her.  What a strong person she is and how grateful I am to her for this beautiful little girl! 


The Big Day

To say we were excited for May 21 is an understatement.  I got home from running with Kim and Elise and Oley couldn't stop talking.  He must have forgotten that I was getting up at 3:30 to make it to the hospital by 5 for Allison to be induced.  By being in the delivery room with Allison my appreciation for her grew exponentially.  I remember standing there thinking, there is a an actual human being inside of her right now, the pain and misery she is going through will produce the greatest blessing I have ever received and I will be a mom, there is nothing I can give back to Allison besides my best effort at raising our daughter.  It was at that moment I knew that this baby really was to be in our family and I will need to do everything in my power to raise little Adelé in a manner that Allison will always be proud of her decision and provide the means for Adelé to always have a relationship with Allison and her Heavenly Father. 
I had been preparing for this day since January when Allison had asked if I wanted to be in the the delivery room with her.  I am horrible when it comes to blood, or anything of that nature, so  I was worried I would pass out! After talking with my mom (a nurse) she was confident I would be fine because it isn't "that bad", but she did give me the advice, "just stand by Allison's head and you won't have to see anything."  So that was the advice I would go off of, stand by Allison's head and all would be well.  Well we will just say, that's not what happened.  Allison was kind enough to allow for me to be the first to hold Adelé and so the nurses and doctor gladly let me sit right next to the doctor as he delivered her.  I don't know what it was, maybe it was becuase Allison is an All-Star, but it happened so quickly I didn't even have time to pass out.  Allison seriously made labor look seamless (I am confident from the pain in her face it was not though) - Adelé was born at 5:48 PM weighing in at 7lbs 13oz. and 21 inches.
What an incredible experience that was to be in the delivery room and see our little baby take her first breaths of life.  When they handed me the scissors to cut the umbilical cord it was as if the doctor was handing her life over to me now.  Allison had done a tremendous job of providing for her to this point, but it now was my turn to provide the necessities of life. 

Kim truly amazes me, she knitted this hat and matching mittens and booties all while in the delivery room that day.
Once Allison was cleaned up Oley came into the room and the emotions ran high.  As Allison held Adelé for the first time we watched in awe knowing how much love she had for her.  We were overcome with emotion knowing how much of a sacrifice she was making for us and how truly blessed we really felt.  There was not a dry eye in the room as Allison had her moment with Adelé.  We truly love Allison and everything she has done for us!





We couldn't have asked for a more perfect family to share this special bond with.  Allison had her family there with her and to know that Adelé will be loved and supported by not only our immediate family but by Allison and hers brought a great sense of comfort to us.  Adelé seriously is perfect!  As I fed her for the first time all I could think was how grateful I am that we were tried for so long to be blessed with such a miracle!
Oley helped the nurse give the first bath, he is going to be an incredible dad! 

We couldn't be any happier!  Adelé is seriously perfect, Allison is amazing, and her family is great!  We are definitely the luckiest couple who have been blessed by such an amazing woman and family.  I look at them and hope that I can impact others lives as deeply and selflessly as they have impacted ours. 
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