Single Digits

Lets start this post off by saying that Holly has been slacking.

I have been thinking a lot today. For along time now I have been trying to wrap my head around the concept of somebody trusting me to raise a child. Something hit me today though. I have been through all the normal emotions an expectant father should, I think. Fear being on the top of that list, at least for me. Something new happened today something that I feel like I should share.

I went to sleep last night knowing full well that the 10 days left on my countdown until Adelé arrives would decrease by yet another day to single digits. Back when the countdown was 78 days it felt like just another day. Then there was day 30 when the idea of someone relying on me for the rest of their life hit me hard. This morning when I awoke everything was completely different.

I ran through the normal emotions upon waking up, but I have managed to be attached to one feeling more than the others today. I feel peace and comfort today more than any other day thus far. I have a recurring feeling of emotional attachment to a beautiful little daughter that I have yet to meet. It's weird but all day long I have felt a second heartbeat within my mind and soul. I know that this is baby Adelé's because it is fast. I can't explain how much calmer and prepared I feel today, more so than other days. I have spent the better part of the day focusing and listening to the quick little heartbeat. It calms me and I know that soon enough I will be holding the little child I have dreamed of for years now.

This being my first foray into putting my feelings to digital ink and paper for the world to see I would like to thank Allison for restoring my faith in humanity. I would like to thank Holly for being my foundation and strengthening me when I am weak. And God for our free agency to do his will or follow our own hearts. I know that this next week or two will test our fortitude as emotional human beings. I heard one time that in life adversity will happen, our test is to bear adversity well. These words strengthen me in hard times, I hope my simple testimony will help bolster anyone who is struggling at the present time.